Developed relationships with other people

During the lesson, I had chances to understand the five archetypes via the role play. And the most unforgettable type is ‘the parent’. I was working in a company that many of the coworkers are mothers and most of the are older than me. When I look back to that working experience, I noticed that a few female colleagues seem apply the ways that they communicate with their children to the workplace. Firstly, they frequently use the tone and wording that they teach their children when talking to me. This happened a lot when I joined the company right after I graduated from university. Secondly, it’s quite hard for me to propose my ideas when we were having discussion about how to execute instruction from the headquarter. I can feel that my opinion was neglected but not rejected because of its feasibility. At that time, I’m not aware that the pros and cons of the parent archetypes until I look back the past a few years later.  In some sense, they gave me great support when I was struggling how to get used to the work-related tasks at the very beginning. And I’m very grateful about their help. However, there’s also drawbacks due to this relationship pattern. It’s quite clear that they brought what they gained from their family to the workplace and applied to younger colleagues. As a result, they often treated me as their kids but not a coworker. Although my working experience was less than my colleague, that doesn’t mean that my judgement is always wrong. Technically this hindered the possibilities that we can build a healthy working relationship. 

After talking about difficulties that I’ve experienced in developing and maintaining relationships with others, I’d like to do some reflection about self-disclosure during the helping interaction. When helpee shared something that helper had similar experience before, it might be a good chance for me as a helper to talk about part of my own story to echo helpee. The benefit of self- disclosure is quite obvious , it’s a good skill for helpee to know that I’m really listening and I understand their situation. If helpee knew that someone have had similar experience as theirs and that can facilitate the helping session if I can make good use of the self-disclosure and then assist helpee to face their emotions and struggles. However, there’s also potential dangers about using this skill during the helping interaction. I might have a temptation of talking too much about my own experience and thus deprive the moment that helpee should have to talk about their own story. And I may trigger my hidden emotions by accident because of those self-disclosure and thus fall into the role of victim, referring to the Karpman Drama Triangle. If that happen, it’s hard for me to help the helpee because I’m trapper in a helpess scenario. Since self- disclosure is a double edged sword, I think I should take extra awareness when using this skill during the helping session. In my opinion, the key to success is not using which skill, but to use the most appropriate skill at the right timing when helping the helpee.