Grief of an old widow

During the lesson, we spent some time to discuss a case regarding an old widow and her grief. During the discussion, some classmates suggested to find ways to assist the widow to regain interest to her hobbies and look forward to the future that without her husband. I understand their intention is to help the widow to get rid of the grief quickly, but I’m not sure if it’s too pushy. In the point of view of person-centred approach, I think the key is not to guide the widow to the direction we think is good to her, but to understand what she wish to deal with at the moment. I think what I should focus on is to demonstrate unconditional positive regard to her situation and try to understand what she wish to talk about. It’s understandable that she may not wish to talk too much because of the grief, counsellor have to try their best to demonstrate empathy via non-verbal communication as main channel. If she wish to share about her own situation, I will make sure enough time is spent, so that she have a space to talk whatever she wish to talk about, probably her feeling about the lost, what she thought regarding her children or other areas that she wish to share. Besides, the case mentioned Helen have signs of depression. I think it’s needed to consider referral if her situation is beyond the ability of a counsellor.




To conclude, I shared my understanding of the person-centred approach by sharing my comments about a case. I tried to apply the concepts of the approach and talk about what I think is appropriate to do when using the approach to the old widow.

Relationship with friends in an eye of person-centred theory

Today I’d like to use the person-centred theory to discuss my own relationship with my male friends. In my home country, good students are always expected to study science subject. And students learned to sort things by using scientific and rational way of thinking. I struggled with my future at that moment because of family financial situation and I’m not sure what I wish to study in university. So I tried to seek help from my friends. After a few conversations, I found that it’s difficult to continue the dialogue. My friends believed the best way to sort the emotions is to sort the problem itself, so they tried to offer various ways to solve my problem, such as inviting me to study and careers event and tuition class that can enhance my examination skills. learned the penson-centred theory, I understand more about my feeling at that time. The suggestions that my friends proposed were very useful, but I found that they never understand my underneath fear nor stress. I couldn’t feel their empathy and I felt I was a problem that to be solved and I was dehumanized. I’m not saying my friends didn’t care about me, but what they offered was focusing on solving the challenges that I faced but didn’t consider my emotional needs, and thus I didn’t feel their comfort. I think that might because we’re shaped by the logical way of thinking learned from the science subjects, thus it’s emphasis on finding solutions instead of demonstrating unconditional positive regard and empathy.